Sta.sh
lease don't open!
k!
Chapter 3: Finding Eggman
Tails: If we can look around four empty bases we can find parts so I can build a device that will track down Eggman.
Knuckles: That was to the point.
Tails: I just wanted to say it before any of you could.
Big: Norton is missing!
Sonic: No one cares, Big.
Big: My face itches.
(Translation: Your soul shall be mine in short time.)
Sonic: Guys you ever get the feeling that there’s a reason Big says all the things he does?
Tails/Knuckles/Rouge: Nope.
Sonic: All righty then. To Green Hill Zone!
Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, and Big head out to the plane.
Rouge: What about me and Amy?!
Sonic: Sorry Rouge, but this is a guys-only trip to Green Hill Zone. You’re nice and all… Well you’re not. But anyway it’s good to spend some time with the guys.
Rouge: Oh I get it…
Sonic: Yeah, exactly – WAIT JUST A MINUTE! Not like that! Ew!
Big, who is already in the plane along with the others, catches Sonic with his rod and pulls him into the plane. It’s flying low to the ground.
Knuckles: I think we need to lose some weight. Big…
Big: I like ice cream.
(Translation: Try me, I dare you.)
They land in Green Hill Zone and find Cream the Rabbit.
Sonic: Hey little girl have you seen Eggman?
Cream: Didn’t you kill him?
Sonic: Oh yeah.
Cream: Did you see Cheese anywhere?
Sonic: I think Big ate some cheese a few minutes ago.
Tails: No Sonic, that was me.
Sonic: Ah.
Cream: You know what I mean!
Sonic: I do? … Oh yeah! Nope, haven’t seen him.
Cream: I’ll join your party if you bring him to me.
Sonic: Well that’s not really something that I’m dying to have happen but fine.
Sonic and his friends meet a scientist.
Sonic: Who are you?
Scientist: I’m Dr. Madden and I came to research why the animals are acting so mean. But they attacked me!
Knuckles: You don’t say…
Dr. Madden: Anyway, I figured out that these radio thingies are causing the problems. So maybe if you could shut them down? There are three and each are guarded by a pair of formidable birds.
Knuckles: My Uppercut will make short work of them!
Big: Don’t look now, I’m just a friendly reminder!
Sonic: Right… Fine.
Sonic and friends destroy the machines. They also meet a weird guy.
Weirdo: Hey I sell the best stuff on this side of Blue Ridge Zone. By somethin’. I got a stapler!
Sonic: Ooh!
Tails: Sonic we don’t need one.
Sonic: Aww, please?
Tails: No.
Sonic: You never let me have fun!
They go to Central City to stock up when they find an alleged salesman alone in a house.
Sonic: Hey dude.
“Salesman”: Hey, some guy traded me a microwave for my stapler, but this microwave is the worst one ever! If you get me my stapler back you can have this!
Tails: That looks like something we can use for part of the tracker. We’ll do it!
Sonic: Aha!
Sonic runs back to Green Hill Zone and the others pathetically try to keep up.
Sonic: We’ve caught you! Hand over the stapler!
Trader: Oh snap! Fine…
He hands over the stapler and runs away. They then find Cheese in a cave. Why? I have no idea. He wasn’t willing to say. But before they could hand him over, they find a little boy being terrorized by Robot Scorpions.
Boy: Mario, wherever you are, HEEEEALP!
Sonic: Mario?! That’s NO good!
Tails: Stop saying that!
Sonic and the party beat up the robots.
Kid: Thanks for saving me! Will you take me home?
Sonic: All right but first we need to do something.
Sonic dashes by Cream, shoving Cheese into her hands and then grabbing her by an ear and taking her along with him and the party to Central City. And somehow the plane flies itself there.
Father: Hey son! Your mother will want to ground you but at least you’re safe!
Kid: Uhhh? Uhh!
The father walks off with the kid.
Sonic: Odd… Let’s go back to the shop.
In the shop…
Tails: Aha! Eggman’s signal! But there are two… He’s either in Mystic Ruins or Green Hill Zone.
Sonic: Let’s check Mystic Ruins.
They do and find… Shadow?!
Sonic: Shadow! What are you doing here?
Shadow: Not now! Get out of my face, Sonic!
Sonic: What are you looking for?
Shadow: That DANG FOURTH CHAOS EMERALD! Oh wait, no I wasn’t…
Sonic: You didn’t say it right.
Shadow: The DANG censors aren’t allowing me to say it. I would’ve just said it a second ago too but again, the censors.
Sonic: Uh-huh…. Have fun with that…. Maybe we should check Green Hill Zone then, team.
They take the plane to Green Hill Zone and find a base.
Sonic: That was easier than I thought.
They go down into the base and find three Swatbot Mk. II’s.
Sonic: Whoa! And I thought regular Swatbots were a challenge!
Knuckles: Uppercut!
Knuckles destroys one of them.
Knuckles: Ha!
Big rams himself into another. Tails destroys the third.
Sonic: … Show-offs.
Eggman: Stop destroying my old models!
Tails: Eggman!
Knuckles: I’ll kill you!
Eggman: I think we both know how that ended last time you tried that.
Sonic: How are you alive?
Eggman: Duh! I’m a super genius!
Tails: (…)
Eggman: I thought there’d be a chance that I might lose so I very brilliantly built an escape pod so I could make my getaway, and a robot to nurse me back to health. I loved her dearly… Until some weird guy came and traded me some bacon for her.
Sonic: Interesting…
Tails: …
Knuckles: … (Idiot.)
Big: I’m the captain of the gravy train.
To be continued.
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And I don't even like Big.
Besides, now that's one less quirk or running joke I have to come up with.
Don't worry it's not like I hate the character or anything.